“If only.”
Two of the most damaging words in the English language:
If only I hadn’t made that investment…
Or married that person…
Or left that job thinking I could find something better…
If only the market hadn’t crashed…
Or the company hadn’t gone under…
Or that person hadn’t taken advantage of my trust…
If only life had unfolded the way it was supposed to, I would be happy.
It’s easy to get caught in the mental trap of what should have been. To obsess over where it all went wrong. To relive, over and over again, the exact moment the metaphorical wheels came off and life first started to veer off course.
But there’s a problem with these kinds of mind games: Despite how much we might not like where we are, we can’t really say for certain that we’re off track.
How do we know that this place isn’t exactly where we’re supposed to be?
Isn’t it possible, after all, that whatever pain and suffering we’ve experienced is meant to be a catalyst for our growth? That our fear of the dark is somehow pushing us closer to our own light? That by some strange twist of fate, we are still on the fastest route to our destination?
The truth is— in order to have the life we want, we must stop mourning the loss of the life that should have been. We have to be willing to show up to the table just as we are. To accept this day, this moment, this hand for whatever it may have to teach us. To go all in, even when victory isn’t guaranteed. And to do it all while wearing our bravest poker face.
Even if the only person we have left to convince is ourselves.
Wise, wise words, my friend. Keep them coming and thank you for sharing.